It's not easy being me
by teendanni13
Summary: It's not easy being a green freak... Songfic! based off of Five for Fighting's 'Superman' Oneshot, no pairings.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or the song 'Superman' by Five for Fighting.**

**Here is a quickie song-fic that i was inspired to do when I heard this on the radio. Random, but I like the way it turned out. Reviews would be much appreciated!**

I'm no Superman, I'm just a kid with a weird disease, but as odd as it sounds, I can get what he's feeling.

_I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
I'm just out to find  
The better part of me_

I can't stand being what I am; it only reminds me of my past. I'm not as innocent and naïve as people think, I put on a mask everyday that conceals my emotions and makes me come across as something I'm not. All I'm here in Jump City to do is make a better life for myself and to try to right wrongs I did in my past, find something in me that's better than what I was, and still am.

_I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane  
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train  
And it's not easy to be me_

Even though I know I am one, I can more than just some animal. I can turn into them, but I sometimes wish they weren't what people recognized me for, I want to stand out for who I am, not mentioning my past, rather than what I can do or how I look, because none of this was my choice. It's not east being a green freak, I get stared at, ridiculed and I know the only reason I have friends is because they have superpowers and are fighting crime and that's all I know to do with my life.

_Wish that I could cry  
Fall upon my knees  
Find a way to lie  
About a home I'll never see_

I constantly wish that I could open up to my friends about my past, or even just cry to myself about it, but I can't, I never have and I never will. I haven't cried in ten years. I haven't cried about my parents, my life, my condition, and I know I'll never see Africa again. That life is gone; I can never be Garfield Logan again.

_It may sound absurd, but don't be naive  
Even heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede  
Even heroes have the right to dream  
It's not easy to be me_

People think that we are here to help them and nothing else, and while that may be true, we aren't invincible, and we do get hurt. Some more than others… bleeding is one way for me to know that I am still at least a little bit human. I am relieved that whenever I get hurt I do in fact see blood, I have the right to know that I still bleed like a normal human, a normal human who used to have dreams. I had dreams of becoming a scientist like my parents or doing something for myself, but that was dashed the moment that monkey bit me, I no longer have the will or the right to think about myself as someone who can be normal.

_Up, up and away, away from me  
It's all right, you can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy, or anything_

I let myself go sometimes, let my mind wander to the days of happiness. I fight within myself with different kinds of Beasts, beasts of my past, of my emotions and the beast itself. I sometimes wonder if I am going crazy, but I pull myself together without a second thought, I have no right to be thinking these things. The wall I created long ago still stands tall, concealing my insanity from my friends; I owe them too much to go crazy.

_I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
Men weren't meant to ride  
With clouds between their knees_

You think flying would help someone clear their mind of negative thoughts, but all it does for me is give me an opportunity to think even more about them, to make sure I don't think about my life, I have to think like a bird, making me even more of an animal than before. People weren't meant to have the powers that I have, they weren't meant to have green skin, claws, fangs and abilities to turn into other animals. They just make me a freak of nature, a joke to the world.

_I'm only a man in a silly red sheet  
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
Only a man in a funny red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me  
Inside of me  
Inside me  
Yeah, inside me  
Inside of me_

I'm only a kid with special powers and green skin, I shouldn't have had to go through all the things I did, even though I know I deserved them after I got myself bit by a monkey and only thought of myself when my parents were about to die. I'm just a beast looking for a way out of the world, or looking for something that can make me forget everything or turn back time to before everything happened.

_I'm only a man  
In a funny red sheet  
I'm only a man  
Looking for a dream_

I'm only Garfield, now with green skin, I'm not special, only weird, what I'm doing in my life is the only thing I can. I'm looking for a steady pace where I can't lose anyone else I'm close to. I'm looking for something I know I can and will never have.

_I'm only a man  
In a funny red sheet  
And it's not easy  
It's not easy to be me_

All I am is a beast, and I know there is nothing I can do to change it, no cure in the world can change what I am now, turn me back to what I used to be. It's not easy to be green, not easy being someone who is looked down upon, even by their own friends. But that's only beast boy, and he's not real, only a mask created for the protection of my friends, they can never know what I truly am. It's not easy being me.

I put down my pencil and slipped the paper I had been writing on into my desk. I heard Robin calling for supper so I plastered my mask back on my face, faking a smile and strutting down the hall. When I see the kind and loving smiles from my friends I knew they could never find out, it will be my secret until the day I die. They will never know of Garfield Logan.

**Hope you liked it, no possibility of a sequel for this one, it was just a one time thing, displaying some of Beast Boy's emotions. REVIEW :)**


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